When the bottom falls out

What a week…on so many fronts!! In fact, what a couple of weeks – in South Africa and just in the lives of so many individuals…

This past Saturday morning (Sat, 14 Sep 2019) I flipped open my journal and wrote the heading,‘Where is God when the bottom falls out?’I had no idea why. Also, I read out of Titus 2 – and I had no idea why…well, someone posted an Instagram story and mentioned Titus, so I felt lead to go check it out…spiritual or not, I don’t know, but I just did it anyway J and I’m very glad I did.

The theme of my journaling that morning was that you and I, we, are called to LIVE. We are called to live in submission, we are called to live with purpose and we are called to rule and to reign. We are called to LIVE, and knowing that you have a great destiny and a purpose will cause that great promise of life to be fulfilled, and you will realize very quickly – that it’s not that the bottom has fallen out, it’s just that sometimes we forget that the bottom is there.

When we feel isolated, rejected, hurt and stomped all over – we feel like all our familiar and our comfort has been taken from us, when the truth is, all that we have done is that we have forgotten – and forgetting whom you are doesn’t just happen overnight.

The actual arrival point of forgetting comes through us constantly ignoring whom we are, whom you were born to be…

Fast forward to this morning (Thu, 19 Sep 2019), here I am jumping out of bed – putting the kettle on the gas stove, quick bath whilst kettle reaches boiling point, kettle starts to whistle and I’m out of the bath – chuck tea bag in mug whilst I blend a quick breakfast smoothie that I chug down whilst getting dressed – now dressed, my Rooibos tea has achieved its optimum strength level, and I’m about ready to run out the door with my tea now poured over into my travel mug and I’m just like ‘Lord Jesus speak’!!

This is a very real heartfelt mixed emotion cry of me just needing something to sustain me during my day (this ritual happens way too much btw)– something to kickstart this significant day, significant because I’ll never get it back again, and all I hear in my head is the tune to “What a friend we have in Jesus”.

Haha, I haven’t heard this song in years, but I was desperate for any kind of insight or encouragement for the day ahead so I found the song on YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SCorW9r_Is), 36 million views…that’s crazy…I connected my phone to the aux cable and drove off and this is where it struck me, the words to what I considered to be a very elementary tune turned out to be so intensely profound!! Here is the extract:

“Oh, what peace we often forfeit

Oh, what needless pain we bear

All because we do not carry

Everything to God in prayer”

Right here…right in the middle of my rush, in my anxiety driven pursuit of hope I’m being schooled – I realize that I give up peace so easily, and in exchange I welcome pain, hurt, rejection, feelings of sorrow, becoming despondent etc. and all because I don’t carry everything over to Him in prayer.

Quite frankly, this was a hard pill to swallow from a song that I thought was nothing more than just a happy feel good ‘Jesus is my friend’ song, but thankfully Jesus must have been preparing me, because I realized that the only way forward in life is really to involve God in my everyday everything!!

Sure…I’m still going to be rushing around like a madman on most mornings, but this does not disqualify me from living a life that honours God and celebrating everything that He is doing in my life and those around me.

I guess my simple encouragement is this, live a life that truly matters – one where you can stand the reflection of the one looking back at you in the mirror.

You are awesome and you were created to live. So live.

Shedding Light on Life's...sometimes...Confusing Pathways

The easy way…the way down is sometimes more confusing than the harder route…

Somehow, I found this illustration come to me on an afternoon run – I set out, in the rain and on the beach, to run a casual 10km.

Towards the end of the beach leg, there is wooden pathway that leads from the beach to the parking lot – this direction, the upward one – is quite clear and a no brainer, but upon my return – I found myself wondering if I had taken the correct pathway exit in the parking lot…as all of a sudden I was running on a concrete pathway…which then became a dirt pathway, which eventually became a wooden pathway…

The big ‘huh’ moment of this run happened on the dirt section – I couldn’t quite remember this section on the ascent of my run, but the reality is that I did run it but somehow, it didn’t stick out to me earlier.

Earlier on I was so focused on the climb of the pathway, that the actual running surface didn’t faze me – but yet now on my return, on the decline – I was a little bit confused – not for too long, but yet I was filled with a moment of doubt…

Focus shift

This same morning I was sitting in an Easter Sunday church service – it was a glorious morning in church that lead the pastor to make an altar call (this is a public call made for anyone whom would like to respond to the gospel and acknowledge Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour) – traditionally during these calls, you will hear a pastor ask that the congregants bow their heads and close their eyes in prayer. At the end of such a prayer, the pastor will ask if anyone wants to respond to this call and if so, acknowledge the response by raising their hands – and at the same time, asking that the congregation please still keep their eyes closed.

This exact call happened this morning – but I was a bit ill-behaved and snuck a peek towards a certain young man that I noticed during the service, sitting some rows in front of me – I feel like he was sort of highlighted to me by the Lord and I just had this sense that he wanted to meet Jesus – he stuck his hand up when the call came – not high up, but that’s sort of irrelevant – Jesus knows…and that’s what counts in these moments.

The pastor continued to close the service and encouraged those that responded to speak to a friend or family member about their decision and then released the congregation – in those final moments, before leaving my seat, I heard the Lord speak to me about His church and the co-existence of generations and how we need each other…great stuff, I love hearing the Lord and how often He randomly encourages me about unrelated things J

The big collision of coincidence

Bringing this plane in for the land – so there I was, not knowing if the path I was on was correct but I proceeded nonetheless, it would have been great if I knew this path or area better, but I didn’t – I stuck it out and it worked out okay…you know this isn’t always the case but I’m happy that today it was…usually I’m grateful when people that have experience or knowledge of a subject and whom have gone before, give me tips and pointers – it doesn’t take away from the experience but rather adds to it.

Just like that young man whom responded to the gospel – I was so amped to try and see if I could speak to him after the service and to encourage him in his decision – to say ‘hey dude, best decision ever, its brave and Jesus loves you’ but before I could reach the guy, an old lady – I must guess late 60s or 70s somewhere…got to him, took his hand and assured him of the most glorious decision ever.

WOW…is this the random piece of information the Lord shared with me…the unrelated haphazard pieces of info He often drops, that I can never seem to piece together…

The bigger picture

After the lady had finished encouraging the gentleman – I was sort of stunned wondering where I fitted in to this picture – I always want to get involved somewhere you know (bull in a China shop…haha) – but instead of what I thought, I ended up stopping the lady to encourage her with what I heard from the Lord and what I just witnessed…

Right there and then, with all the love and compassion in the world she said to me, ‘I had to encourage him in the Lord, just like I would as if he was my own grandson.’

This was a massive WOW moment for me – just like my illustration of that pathway – sometimes in life we need an encounter with something or someone that has a revelation about a situation that we never could imagine – for that young man, maybe it was an uphill battle coming to church this specific morning – like it is for many of us – but how do we go home…and do we know what pathway we are taking?

Lastly, I feel like I want to make a simple encouragement: find an ‘older’ more experienced and knowledgeable individual, whom you can glean from – we’re all writing our own story, but it’s nice to know that there are those whom can encourage us, those whom have a revelation of sticking to the pathway.

Love,

Ryan

So...

…a couple of years ago I had this desktop computer, it was a terribly old machine and nothing fancy – but it was a computer that I pretty much had my whole university career’s information on, and which held countless amounts of other valuable personal documents…

Bits and pieces of information that I had collected, created and stored over the years…you guys know what I mean hey, information that recalls memories…like photos and maybe some written material and just personal info that one needs, just…stuff, you know!!

In fact, it’s funny – cause one of the pieces of information on that PC was a loose sort of journal I kept, a journal of broken conversations that I had, conversations that I had, had with God – dating as far back as 2004!!

Loose and broken, because it wasn’t quite complete records…and I mention this because when I got saved in May 2008, I found these written records the one day and I was blown away by the fact that God had indeed been working in my life way before the day I surrendered all. 

Yes, He loves us even in our very broke, ugly, unforgiving and crazy unrepentant, dirty and sinful state…HOW EVEN??...

But anyways…this is just a side note…back to the story of this prehistoric machine that contained the intricate world wide web of Ryan’s documented digital history and the story of where it all went…

So one fine day, I, Ryan Odendaal, an amateur self-taught computer technician decided to do some much needed maintenance on this old machine and I decided to do a format on the hard drive of this computer – a format, in layman’s terms is like pressing the ultimate RESET button and then having to start afresh, like installing all your software and stuff again etc., – SO…I formatted the hard-drive containing all the software programs so as to perform a fresh installation of Windows etc. to enable the machine to run faster and better…

I knew how to perform this function as I had done it so many times before…and it works, cause to perform a wipe-out and then a fresh installation means you have the power to go back to ground level and build up again, as explained.

So, on this particular day I had just finished my computer maintenance when my heart literally sank and the cold hard truth hit…the reality is that I had just wiped out the wrong partition, a partition being like a section of a hard drive…I had just wiped out the section with all my memories, all my photos, all my documents and everything that I had kept safe for so long…was now gone…poof…just like that!!

NO!! This was a mistake. This was an error. This was more than just mere negligence…it was a gross mistake, it was massive…it was hectic, this had happened and the worst part…was that I had caused it!! I had authored this loss L

But how…there is now no one else to blame, it’s just me and the reality of me having to face my huge data loss!!

No…no no no no no, no no…you don’t understand – taking the blame and the responsibility of such huge data loss is a bitter pill to swallow and so I had to devise something – a plan, a plan to make myself feel better, a plan to carry on, a plan to explain this horrible, sad, tragic event…

I know…

MY COMPUTER WAS STOLEN!!

I actually came in to agreement in my mind that it would be better to make-up and make myself believe that my computer was stolen…WHY…well, this was a better reality than…

…RYAN…YOU SINGLE HANDEDLY WIPED OUT ALL YOUR VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION…YOU!!

You are the master architect behind the loss of data that bore significance to you as it was information that was important to you…

You see, the moment that anything in your life bears importance = it has value associated to it – and when you lose something of value…your wealth diminishes…and I’m not talking about your bank balance, I mean you as a person…as a whole, when something gets taken from you that you value or you give it up…you have to face the cold hard reality of a gaping gushing wound of some sort – some wounds are bigger than others and some wounds are less intense than others…SO what was this wound??

This wound that had been created was directly linked to my ability or maybe lack of ability to carry responsibility…

WAIT…hold up, press the pause button real quick…how is the formatting of an incorrect hard-drive partition linked to ‘responsibility’…haha, I’ve now taken this creative writing way too far…

WELL, no…the fact is that in my mind I have ‘consciously’…decided to rather believe that this PC must have been stolen, must have been stolen rather than me having created this mess…

…

What is it with me…what is it with us human beings in our frail state that when the pawpaw hits the fan, that we’ll look for and even make up something or someone to blame…no no, one better…we’ll devise a scenario to explain our short comings…?

My story may be slightly comical, but it poses massive questions?!?!

So…my first question is this: where do I start and where do I end?

We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

So you see, the greatest confrontation in life isn’t the external fights we pick…the friends we hack off or the family that has wronged us…but the greatest truth tester and limit breaker is our internal governance – what is the thing that leads and directs you…what is your motive…really, what are your true motives and where do they stem from?

In the above passages of scripture I see that where I am today – the love that I first experienced when Christ came onto my scene never really had anything to do with me…it was Him all along…it was the fact that He loved me first, that He has always loved and because of that love…I am drawn in and I can love...WHAT??

Yes, it’s not me…I didn’t make this happen – the pursuit of me, the pursuit of this heart…this crazy complex hardened weirdo of human being was happily going along until one day I was confronted with God and because my guard was down…because my weakness was rife and on display for all to see…well at least within me…I was able to not just meet God, but I was able to climb into all that He had for me – there is an age old saying that speaks of ‘extending an olive branch’…this saying is biblical and its roots mean: an offer of peace or reconciliation, it comes from the Book of Genesis. The sign that the flood was over was an olive branch brought back to the ark by a dove.

Apparently, the offer of an olive branch would suggest that someone is tired of war, whether it be an actual war or a falling out between friends.

In Ancient Greek and Roman times, people would offer literal olive branches. In Rome defeated armies traditionally carried olive branches to indicate that they were surrendering, and the Greeks incorporated olive branches into weddings and other ceremonies as a symbol of peace.

Jesus…JESUS…is extending such an olive branch to you and I today, should we choose to come to the end of ourselves…so if you were ever wondering why it’s a good idea to celebrate your weakness – it’s like the scripture says, that’s when HE is strong and His power is made manifest and perfect in us!! J

Mmm…okay…olive branches, kief…gotta extend grace, got it…but you can’t give what you don’t possess, right…and what you don’t have you can’t give…right? Okay…settle down and quite your mind…

Second question is about Virtues…what are our virtues as a community of believers?

Virtues…huh…well these are our behavioural patterns – to be beyond reproach…this is like Christian ethics 101.

…in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, with purity in doctrine, dignified, sound in speech which is beyond reproach, so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us. Titus 2:7-8

WHAT does this have to do with my emotional breakdown…caused by my computer trouble – well, it’s simple really…how is my reaction ANDam I owning my reaction – think in general now, about your life as a whole, what are our reactions like when life hands us lemons?

GUYS…we are called to be followers of Jesus Christ – He is the way, the truth and the life – so in Him, what do we see:

1.     What is our way – is it my way or the highway or is it, not my will but Yours be done Father?

2.     The truth – is my situation and my feelings more real than the God who moved Heaven and earth to reach us…what is your reality?

3.     Life – what is life and where is the clearly defined starting point – He knitted me together in my mother’s womb right…so life started even before I was born, even before I was like anything HE was getting ready to knit – He knew me before I was…because he IS. The great I Am is all He says He is and if he says His righteousness becomes ours, then you best believe it…

So let this all sink in for a moment…

…we have the ability to not be reactive but rather CREATIVE in all we do. Creative I say, as we are able to co-labour with Jesus to build towards a better outcome, an outcome of love, joy and generosity – so before you lash out in angst, look at Jesus…what is He busy with and then dare to believe that prayer is your guidance and His Word is your weapon!!

Thirdly…not quite a question, but a question of others, the question of Hurts.

I have been hurt.

I have hurt.

I hurt.

THUS…

I am disqualified.

I am not.

I am not. Answered Peter already on two different occasions…then the third:

One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, “Did I not see you in the garden with Him?” Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed. John 18:26-27

There it is…the ultimate disqualification…the ultimate slap in the face of Jesus. Surely, the thing that will cause Jesus…and rightfully so…to say, “I’m done with you – you two faced, back stabbing hurtful cow, leave me alone…”

Nope, we all know that this is not where the story ends, this is a mere sideshow illustrating Peter’s weak frame and ours too as fleshy beings.

Can you believe the irony of Peter denying Jesus to a relative of the Roman soldier – the solider whom Peter de-eared in a passionate defence of the one he so loved, his Jesus…the Jesus that saved him. The Jesus that accepted him. The Jesus that gave him purpose…now Jesus becomes something so external and so dispensable to Peter…like a dirty filthy rag thrown to the side, this is now who Jesus has become to Peter and I dare to ask myself…who is Jesus to me?

Cause life is tough guys and things happen. So…who is Jesus then at that crunch moment compared to who He was when life was all hunky dory?

He’s the same Jesus always and He’s always drawing us in with love and acceptance. So hurts…does this then mean that hurts become null and void, like I’m just supposed to get over them somehow…NOPE…our hurts and subsequent actions have consequences, and right so…Peter went back to what he ‘knew’, but guess who came after him…the one whom Peter had hurt, yes Jesus.

So what does that mean – it means we are empowered to extend grace and forgiveness, even when we are the ones that have every right to be low in spirit, but why? Cause it’s simple…we are called to be peacemakers…look it up in Matt 5, the first beatitude – be a peacemaker and you will be called a son of God – something of our IDENTITY is caught up in moving in the opposite spirit, try it sometime…make it a habit, you can do it…it’s who you are!!

            

Number four: Surrender...and Succumb…to King Jesus!!

Vulnerability moment alert!!

This past weekend (17 to 19 Feb 2019) I went to Keiskammahoek…guys…as much as I loved the trip…one must realize that there is a cost, there is always a cost!!

We’re inland, it’s gonna be hot – I’m in freakin dorm room – and it’s bound to be smelly and noisy. MY SLEEP!! Oh my sleep, my beloved sleep…listen, this prince needs his sleep.

I remember getting into the guys dorm and choosing a single bed close to the door, it wasn’t a bunk bed, just a single bed right…so nobody rolling around above me, okay things were looking better but then…that night I realized my lil crib had the worst mattress of all the beds in the entire dorm and I felt like a croissant lying on its side…

Oh dear…at one point I was walking to the bathroom and thought to myself, what have I done!? Back home I have a luxurious king size, extra length bed…extra length, guys I’m not even that tall to warrant an extra length bed BUT…I can spread myself out like a starfish and not even reach the sides of my glorious bed…and that’s what got me sold on this bed…right??!!

That’s when I felt the Lord remind me of two portions of scripture…

Jesus replied, “Yes, but remember this: even animals in the field have holes in the ground to sleep in and birds have their nests, but the Son of Man has no place here to lay down his head.” Luke 9:58

“This is why I tell you to never be worried about your life, for all that you need will be provided, such as food, water, clothing—everything your body needs. Isn’t there more to your life than a meal? Isn’t your body more than clothing? “Look at all the birds—do you think they worry about their existence? They don’t plant or reap or store up food, yet your heavenly Father provides them each with food. Aren’t you much more valuable to your Father than they? So, which one of you by worrying could add anything to your life? Matt 6:25-27

The first scripture speaks of the cost of following Jesus…you’ll notice that certainties aren’t too high up on the list and second is the command to not worry.

So, question time: who of you are totally down with not knowing what tomorrow holds and that fact, just does not bother you?

Guys…do you see that this is what Jesus is talking about – a life spent following Jesus is doing just that and being satisfied with Him.

Remember my PC story – so, I lost all my memories, right…So??

I lost interactions between me and God, surely these are NB, So…

I lost stuff that I placed uber importance on, So…

The actual conclusion to point 4, is this: Surrender...and Succumb...to healing and inner peace – you gotta learn to be lekker with the unknown and in that, find peace – Jesus is the prince of peace, so seek Him first!!

Then my last point, point number 5: forgiveness is always gonna cost you!!

John’s disciples told him about all these things. Calling two of them, he sent them to the Lord to ask, “Are you the one who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” Luke 7:18-19

I’m sorry, what?! Someone sounds a bit up tight having been thrown into jail…or what’s going on here??

The commentary in my study bible says that John was confused cause the reports of Jesus were incomplete – in fact in response to John’s disciples, Jesus just gave a report of the outbreak of healings, giving testimony I suppose…Jesus didn’t become rude and short with them, he started sharing with them, that which John would expect to hear of the Messiah, you see, it’s only as you face your doubts honestly, that you can begin to resolve them and the resolve usually starts with forgiveness.

Like the parable of the man who is forgiven his debt and then straight after condemns a man that owes him a little bit of money – so it’s going to be for us – because you have been forgiven, therefore forgive because if you don’t, you will be judged by your own measure and man, you don’t want that.

SO…this wraps up my blog on the title ‘So…’, let us take up our authority and forgive for both self and for those around us, amen.

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Leave me a comment below J