IDENTITY 101 – You Are What You Eat – the blogged version
So…5 years later and here I am…yet again J lol, let’s see if I can become a bit more consistent in the months to follow. So, I really felt very stirred by God to start writing again in September…twenty sixteen – imma just write the year out cause now-now you actually read this and all you see is the year and you start judging me, hard…and now’s not that time.
So why now…it’s simple really – I felt God impress on my heart to share at my midweek connect group about a week and a half ago on the topic of identity and from what was swirling in my head: from all the stuff that I head learnt over all the years, to what I actually wrote down, is worlds apart – and the funny thing was I knew the Lord said to me that this will become a blog, even before I started preparing the message…so now I’m fighting for it!!
Fighting for it?? Well the creative process of writing…or anything creative really…can be quite daunting – then you spice it thick with an over-the-top amount of procrastination and hey presto…years will go by with you sitting along the stream of your life without ever even so much as dipping a toe into that stream – that’s exceptionally deep and somewhat poetic, but now you know.
As a quick disclaimer – I started sharing on this blog about 10 years ago, my writing…though always quite comical and theatrical…I think…I have had to restrain myself from deleting some old posts, thinking to myself…’what on earth was I thinking??’…so ja…just be forewarned.
Let me START…the edited version for this here blog:
All of us at some point in our lives have wondered about identity…wondered about who we are, how we perceive ourselves and how others perceive us…I guess, so it’s a massive topic, therefore I know that I won’t cover everything, but maybe I’ll hit something that you can relate to…something that resonates with you…so yeah…come with!!
One of my aims with this writing is that I am going to attempt to break us as human beings down in terms of our external influences, our internal influences – i.e., our internal governance and then our framework – what keeps it all together J
Once again, by my own admission, this is probably better suited to be addressed by a psychologist…but yeah, if you decide to come along on this adventure then you could actually learn a great deal…I rate…
I am going to start with a light-hearted story, a story of Mr. Moroe Jand my great interactions with this man. Mr. M – as I’ll casually refer to him – is a security guard and is employed by the local university (Nelson Mandela University) – I first encountered Mr. M one Thursday morning when I arrived early at the library – both me and Mr. M were in great spirits – the day had just started and we were both arriving for our days’ work – me, I was set to study the whole day and Mr. M, well he was there to maintain the peace and check identity…identity…identity…you see, as you into the library, you flash your student card to Mr. M and upon his approval you either proceed or you find yourself in a forced hostage negotiation scenario – where you are the hostage making your plea for why it is that you may proceed, either that or you whip out your over packed study bag and you start mulling through every compartment whilst every 5sec muttering that ‘I know it’s in here somewhere’ – referring to your student card with the hope…and sort of moral manipulation…that the now backed up queue forming behind you and your sorrowful apologetic state, will now be rewarded with Mr. M’s, ‘okay you may go in’ line…tada success!!
But this wasn’t my encounter – my encounter was that on this morning as I flashed my student card to Mr. M, he acknowledged me and said ‘THANK YOU’ in a quiet, decent manner, that was so counter to what I was anticipating my morning ‘arrival-and passing-through’ ritual to be like, that this ‘THANK YOU’ disturbed me – okay relax – you’re thinking of every other definition of disturb under the sun, but disturbis defined as: “interfere with the normal arrangement or functioning of” ponder that for a moment…
Now…fast forward a little, the day has gone on for quite a while and I have left the library to go hunt and gather lunch and upon my return guess what – I get to go through the same ritual…
I pass through the annoying hip level swivel gate – it’s now more heavier and more tedious than earlier – as my carbo-loaded lunch was quickly gulped down and I am anxious to get back to my study corner and guess who I see, with delight…Mr. M and he’s still seated at his little desk…I flash my student card and away I go…
Same…same, but different!? WHAT has changed?
Well,
I…was not acknowledged.
I…was not thanked.
I…am no longer of any value…
Let’s park Mr. M for a little whilst I unpack IDENTITY but utilize Mr. M in my illustrations…
Romans Chapter 12 v 1-2
The chapter heading reads: A Living Sacrifice
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Every one of us faces this battle of what is going on around us. For some, waking up each and every morning is like waking up to a raging war and we run out to battle and for others it appears to be all white picket fences and sunshine…but don’t always be so fooled by the way things appear, external forces, just like Mr. M…what are we choosing to portray on the outside…
Do our experiences – the things that happen to us – dictate the truth? Just because you have fallen once, are you fallen – because you tripped along the way, are you tripped up – are you a product of your bad decisions and now left like that for life…have you in a sense prophesied death over self and now even the image in the ‘mirror’ portrays this – are you believing others lies about yourself or even worse, are you believing your own lies?
The hard thing is sometimes the tensions we live in, we love to quote: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13
BUT!! Who is it that we get our strength from? I am a new creation…yes…but do I know my Creator?
Paul writes it well in 1 Cor 9:27, “but I train like a champion athlete. I subdue my body and get it under my control, so that after preaching the good news to others I myself won’t be disqualified” TPT
Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Romans 12:9 NLT
So what’s going on here…to rise up and take your place as one who is worthy of your calling…as a son, as a daughter, we ought to rise up and rest…rest in Him…in the book of James, the writer says: For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror; for he observes himself, goes away, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. James 1:23-24 NKJV
Question: do I see His blueprint in my life? Look for it, it’s there. Look closely!!
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 NIV
What does it then look like on the outside to be transformed by God…guys, some of us are so desperate to look right, to have the right expression, to dress a certain way, to have a certain body or to not have a certain body…I heard Kris Vallotton say in a preach once, “You can spend whole your life reacting to what you don’t want to be or you can spend your life responding to God’s vision for your life…but when you focus on the former, you’ll spend your entire life focusing on what you don’t want to be that you’ll actually become like the people you hate…”
You see, if you do intentionally drink poison…you will become poisoned (you are what you eat/drink…)…now for my first confession – I felt like God gave me these little sub title confessions that I will use to share some vulnerable situations in my life…
A. I…am recovering from a low self-image.
Yes! I was once shy and withdrawn but now I’m loud and boisterous blah blah blah…NO…that’s not what this means – what this means is that I was once…and still sometimes…I am like a Zacchaeus – who’s this brah…well he was the dude that was kinda short and kinda skelm, but he jumped into a tree to see this Jesus whom, everyone was going on about and Jesus saw him and came to him and invited himself over for lunch…and what transpired was that Zacchaeus was so confronted by the presence of God personified by Jesus, that he promised to pay back double to all those whom he stole from…
You see, the low self-image that I…that we are recovering from is this stance of seeing ourselves as much smaller and insignificant than what God sees…but one day, just one day…you’ll jump into a tree, knowing full well that all your nay-sayers are surrounding you and you’ll crave your redemption and freedom to such a point that you just don’t care about what’s being said about you anymore, because what’s more important in those moments of the curious and brave leap is seeing Jesus – the only one whom can restore your identity, Jesus the only one whom can bring you back to your original true design, Jesus.
Alright-e-o, back to our beloved character for the night, Mr. M. I guess one of the powerful things that I was trying to illustrate with this story was the big ‘D’ word…the thing that none of us are immune to, the thing that sometimes will come along like a curve ball and take the carpet out right from beneath your feet – nothing can prepare you for it and there is no known human cure for it, yep…its Discouragement…and when this flood of emotion hits you it’s like taking a baseball bat to a surfacing mole…you just sink back and retreat – sorry, I was kinda out of good illustrations…I don’t mind moles and I’m certainly not clubbing any moles for the record…
But what happened with Mr. M between morning and afternoon – what happened with me between those hours…? I mean, I’m one spirit…one sole…one mind…right? Was I busy losing it – was I falling into a deep dark hole of depression, was I creating unreal expectations of those around me, am I secretly really a bad person that only momentarily appears nice but really behind the scenes I am terrible – am I sort of deluded…am I unstable…will I ever find love, will I ever settle…will the world ever make sense – was this all destined from my childhood…was it my bad choices or was it my parents…STOP!!
Flip, sometimes our inner workings – our inside man, our internal governance situation starts having a mini meltdown and we just need to stop, stop and recognize that we are not all flesh and bones but, on the inside, we have emotions and due to differing atmospheres and environments, we need to become sensitive to our emotions…
SO firstly, I want to say that our emotions, if submitted under the God head and authority of Jesus Christ, that our emotions can be beautiful and can be tamed to be used to serve the body of Christ…fancy that, but do not take your internal state for granted…
Our boy David, in the OT wrote this:
Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul?
Why are you crying the blues?
Fix my eyes on God—
soon I’ll be praising again.
He puts a smile on my face.
He’s my God. Psalm 43:5 MSG
What can we learn from this Psalm…quickly…quickly turn to God, look upon the One whom we are fully reliant upon for our salvation and make some faith decelerations!!
Romans 5:1, “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”
Verse 9: “Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!”
I think the reality is that discouragement hits us all at times – but the truth of the matter is, that it is only temporary and what God wants to reveal to us, is that we are so special to Him and so loved be Him that He wills for us to be brought out from underneath that rock of lowliness and despair and he wants us to rise up…
Isaiah 40:31 says, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Isaiah 60:1-2 says, ““Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples, but the Lord rises upon you and his glory appears over you…”
My second vulnerability moment…
B. I am a recovering extremist.
YOH!! What does that mean…well, I love and live life to its fullest and to all extremes. I work, play and crash HARD…everything I do is either 100% or nothing at all…balance is for sissies and those whom don’t have clear goals and so if you follow me, you’ll either summit Everest or we’re gonna have a tea party at base camp…there’s no in between…
The problem here is that age old saying, ‘nothing ventured, nothing gained…’
If we’re truly going to be living from a place of wholeness and fullness from our innermost, we need to trust that when God has spoken and said go, that we don’t always need the exact blueprint plan…
Some years ago, I gave a message centered around the backwards theme of GO, SET…READY!! We need to train our innermost man to become comfortable with the unknown because even within that word unKNOWN is the word KNOWN.
If you can truly declare and know…holding on to God’s peace…that He has spoken, then focus on the KNOWN and everything else will in its own time either become planted for harvest in due season or will become plucked up to be thrown away so that we don’t become fixated on distractions…
Jesus, Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, “May you never bear fruit again!” Immediately the tree withered. Matt 21:19 NIV
Now, every theologian and his aunty has a teaching on this verse, which is great – but what I simply take from this, is that sometime we will encounter something like this tree, that should be in bloom…and because it isn’t we hang around and we try and make it work…’it’, being whatever the thing is that is ‘distracting’ you…when sometimes – and like in this case – we need to see that tree for what it is – it is not the source of life and sustenance we are searching for…and that fact is, you’re hungry and this thing just won’t satisfy you…you need to eat good and not starve yourself trying to appear all spiritual…if the thing you are trying to resuscitate is not in line with God’s will…leave it – curse it – move on, you’ll be in a much better place for it…don’t succumb to the seduction of flogging a dead horse for the sake of looking faithful – remember that Mary chose the better way, that was to hang out at the feet of Jesus – Martha on the other hand was busy with a good thing BUT NOT a God thing, resentment is not from God…stop it!!
Come to me, all who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matt 11:28-30 ESV
Our frame: a fuselage is to an aeroplane like what a skeleton is to a body – you see the fuselage of an aircraft is its frame…and in very much the same way, you and I have a frame…where everything fits together, our outside parts and inside parts are all held together by this frame…and one of the main components of this frame I believe is JOY!!
Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Neh 8:10 NIV
So, I went and found some (LOTS) scriptures on JOY:
Clap your hands, all you nations; shout to God with cries of joy. Ps 47:1
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rom 15:13
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Prov 17:22
Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, 1 Peter 1:8
For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. Rom 14:17
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Ps 16:11
These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. John 15:11
For his anger is but for a moment, and his favour is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Ps 30:5
You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. Ps 4:7
My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed. Ps 71:23
For you are our glory and joy. 1 Thes 2:20
Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! Ps 126:5
Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Ps 51:12
And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit. Acts 13:52
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Gal 5:22-23
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’ Matt 25:21
Now to him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy. Jude 1:24
Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion, for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.” Isa 12:6
For in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. 2 Cor 8:2
With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation. Isa 12:3
So there was much joy in that city. Acts 8:8
Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. Eccl 9:7
You see…joy is in our everything and the amazing thing about it…is that for the most part it makes absolutely no sense…because the reality is, is that our joy is not up to us – we can’t make it happen, we can’t conjure it up and we can’t in a sense mess it up – joy is before us, it’s in our reaction…and it’s in God’s reaction towards us – this one is more than a fleeting emotion or just a state of mind, its real and it’s within each and every believer.
So now finally…ish…a deep encouragement to all…
“Friends, this world is not your home, so don’t make yourselves cozy in it. Don’t indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they’ll be won over to God’s side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives.
Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God’s emissaries for keeping order. It is God’s will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you’re a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family.” Revere God. Respect the government. 1 Peter 2:11-17
You see in this above passage, in many other translations it speaks of you and me being called ‘sojourners’…a person who resides temporarily in a place…
Earth…right here, right now, as it is - and as you are…is not your home…can I get an amen!!??
This brings me to my final vulnerability statement:
C. I don’t actually know who I am anymore, is that okay!...?
I’ve become so undone in God’s presence throughout my life that I don’t even know how to describe myself anymore – like…am I the guy that is just destined to struggle with the same habitual sin my life long? But then just a moment in His presence He delivers me, and I am set free – and so no longer am I just a product of my circumstances but as I son I am set free.What about how others perceive me – everyone has always seen me one way and in fact I’ve always heard them say, “he will never change”, now look at me…look at God…wow, even they are amazed at the change.
Who am I? How do I describe myself – you see a sojourner is a temporary resident…and temporary residents don’t take on the molding and the shaping of a people group or a culture, they tend to do just what they are there for and then they move along – Luke 9:3-6 says: And he said to them, “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bread, nor money; and do not have two tunics. And whatever house you enter, stay there, and from there depart. And wherever they do not receive you, when you leave that town shake off the dust from your feet as a testimony against them.” And they departed and went through the villages, preaching the gospel and healing everywhere.
Take nothing with you on this journey…cause your identity is not caught up in your things but in GOD and GOD alone!!
So, to finally finally end…
MR M…
…so, no story is complete without returning to the beginning again to ensure you get the full circle experience, so remember that Thursday morning I met Mr. M…the Friday morning after that Thursday I was back at the library again, Mr. M was there…again…checking the myriad of student cards in the queue and he was about to pass me by when I noticed his name printed on his jacket, Mr. Moroe, (this is actually where I learned his name) I flashed my student card and he was about to just go past me when I reached out and said, ‘Good morning Mr. Moroe’, he reciprocated with a ‘good morning, thank you…’ and he moved on…
My identity as a ‘whole being’ made whole and in the image of God is that I don’t take any moment or any interaction for granted, I am destined and it is my will (through Him) that I take every moment captive – you see that Friday I needed to be the one extending an arm of grace to a man who was part of my story, unbeknown to him…why…because the Kingdom of God is not just a matter of words put of POWER, 1 Cor 4:20.
Your identity rests in God.
End.
