Wow...where does one begin – in my last blog post, 25 May 2010 (another year gone by...2 years) I wrote and declared that never again shall I complain about how terrible and stretching and poo poo poo this season has been...
Voice of Truth – Casting Crowns
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
Chorus:
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armour
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again. "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth
Well, this is kinda gonna be a very spontaneous post and I am really trusting Holy Spirit to bring a message through me, through my life...I message of hope and maybe my own heart will get exposed – I heart that has been crying out, yearning HELP!!
I remember finding Retha McPherson’s story (if you don’t know her...google...facebook...go wild) within the first week of my story and there’s sometimes just those one liners that stick with you, no matter what story you hear – to you, there’s always that one line that poked at your heart that you just kinda harbour on. For me, Retha spoke of how her greatest fear, was her family being in a brutal accident – and it happened...for me, my biggest fear was – GOD...I never wanna loose this honeymoon phase feeling.
So what happened here – KA BOOM – Pappa turned up the testing thermostat!! So my biggest fear, quite frankly my biggest idol, I suppose came to light – exposed for all to see. Sorry if you confused, but here it is – since the day I got saved (25 May 2008), I was party much sold out for the Kingdom – nothing could shake me, cause I knew Jesus and I know he answers prayer and he does!! But I got very used to the feeling, even amidst people cautioning me of my ridiculous conversion – I saw this as okes warning me of growing weary...when in fact I rate it was more like, hey – get ready, prepare...read more about this just now (...)
Then the idol part (yes yes, Harvest – my local family is doing a rocking series on this), whats up with that yo? Well, let me use this gravifying (I think I just made up a word, it means being brought down to earth) example: I like to think we pray with Jesus instead of (the illustration) to Jesus – yes as a Christian (if you are a non-believer reading this blog, I really gotta share this with you, in John 14:6 Jesus himself says, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.) I pray to Jesus, but in fact Jesus himself taught us how to pray in Matthew 6:9...right...RIGHT!!
So He’s heard it all before...nah, that’s not what I’m saying – I’m saying he knows us – you and me, every last hair on me head is accounted for, every breath, every waking moment – and then we tell people, come to Jesus – he wants to know you...ha ha, he does know you...but he wants to know you even more, even way more intimate. He wants to have a relationship with you, he wants to hang out with you and just talk to you, and you to him...lovely :-)
So, about praying with him – it makes sense to me :-) cause in idol worship, okes pray to an idol – imagine talking to the wall...and kinda expect things to happen...but as a sane minded fly on the wall, we thinking this guy is nutso’s...but the poor idolater is convinced...eish
So, I fealt that Jesus was becoming an idol to me – I was talking TO him, rather at him...and left very short of any answer, and I doubt that I was gonna get an answer cause I wasn’t seeking him...but rather an idea of him, an idea of good emotions and spirituality wrapped up into one...no no, I have not become new age...promise I haven’t watched Oprah in over two years (gasp...you cant just say that Ryan!!)...ha ha :-)
Yup, so the SIN part in this blog title is the phony-ness (you should really read the Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger – the main character is Holden Caulfield, and he despises phonies) by which I approached the cross, you kinda go to the cross – but instead of walking towards Jesus head on, you walking off to the side a little bit, cause you holding something in your hand that you want nobody to see, less in fact Jesus. Cause heaven forbid he actually asks me to lay it ALL down. Like I only wanted him to see that which I was prepared to give...
1 Corinthians 5:6-7
Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast – as you really are. For Christ our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed
...you see, I had a little yeast hidden, but it infected my whole being, but I really thought only I knew...God is graceful, merciful and just so much better and way more worthy and really good – that he deserves way more than a half truth...a lie. He deserves the truth.
Truth exposes a lie and we can move on. A lie tries to cover up the truth and in fact life just gets swak!!
Now for the fun part...DRINKING IN THE DROUGHT...you know I left part of the story hanging and dangling a bit up there...go fetch it...
The dry times are gonna come, the drought is almost inevitable and it is not to be feared. God is always looking to build his army, right here right now, but are we ready to be recruited?
Life is gonna happen...and when life happens I have realised I need strong okes around me, guys who will defend you and build you up, guys who come alongside and lay down their lives together with you.
This issue of community, family, friendships, brothers (sisters) etc. needs to be settled right now and for all...Jesus himself dedicated his life to other people and see, we are also called to do the same. This is so firmly rooted in the servant hood we are called to...its not a selfish desire to build up a Facebook friend circle – its more than that, its about being part of God’s glorious army. Knowing that when times of testing come, we have a community that stand and pray with us!!
Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Men, if you were ever gonna get a tattoo...(and you have never felt convicted by Leviticus...ha ha)...then this is it!!
To clear up, drinking in the drought, is when we are tired, heaven laden and weary – that our brothers would carry us to Jesus Christ. Cause when times get tough, religion teaches us to run from God, but relationship leads up straight to Him!!
Drink of Him always, our very source of living waters...of life and of pure love, and you shall never want...
Love you all so very much...RYAN
[WWJD...I dunno...ask him]
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Two years on...and its only getting more challenging
Two years on...and its only getting more challenging
uhm nope...I’m not being emo...challenges are good :-)
All the amazing Christian authored stuff out there usually starts in prayer...and so I’m keen on that, plus any opportunity to talk to Pappa is good!!
Dear Lord Jesus, Lord help me to write - God that which is on your heart, help me to share my experiences with people so that they might see and hear and feel you in my words and that their eyes might be totally focussed on you and your most amazing love, cover us in your love. Amen.
Yoh, it’s been a rollercoaster ride since my last blog entry. Ups and downs and for some reason more downs in this season. A season I thought I would never see and quite frankly dreaded a little bit, but hey – one thing I know is never look back, unless through the blood of Jesus.
So I wanna declare (prophetically) right now...that I will not start another sentence with ‘It’s been a tough couple of months’...and then proceed with all my junk, I refuse to give the enemy any glory or believe any lie, label or accusation against me as if I were trying to humble myself by dissing myself – that’s why its always a good idea to ask God, “Hey God, what do You say about me” – I usually end up in a joyous laughing fit...wow...how He desires me and each and every single one of us.
Just last week at my small group meeting we played a game of encourage encourage – quite frankly I felt like sitting out, I was feeling so empty...what would God say about me or what would He say through me...what if there is like awkward silence...hectic...ha ha :-) But the words that came, the encouragement, the love, the prophetic words...I was like sjo...JESUS!! How can you see all this!! The truth is, by His Spirit, things were being revealed that were so deeply nestled in my heart, things that I totally take for granted...things I trade off to rather focus on all my junk - that I was convinced God would see my garbage pile and instead give me a word like...do not collect your prize, don’t even start again but go straight to jail...lol, Monopoly!!
Serve (praise) God for who He is...not for who you are!! – SELAH – (that’s Psalm lingo for pause and reflect...)
Quick testimony...the very power of our living God at work...
About a month ago I was wondering the streets and came across Odwa, a car guard dude. He asked me for cash...to buy cigarettes...I said no...(just had to state the obvious), plus I had no cash on me!! I was in a happy place and decided to chat to him, took my scooter helmet off and actually took the time to engage with him. I shared with him a bit of my life...yoh...love talking and especially about what Pappa has done in me. Told him how I smoked for seven years and have been ‘clean’ for almost 2 years – hey...it’s totally 2 years today!! He naturally asked how I stopped and I told him I gave my LIFE to Jesus (heart and all...every body part...ha ha). I encouraged Him with some good Godly council that Jesus could set Him free and well now his money could be used to provide for himself and his family...awe!! He seemed to like this deal and I asked him if I could pray for this...so I just prayed a simple prayer of faith. Tonight...I was rushing out of a pizza place when a car guard approached me, with my helmet already on I felt stirred to take it off and talk to this guy...ha ha...Odwa...I supernaturally remembered his name (this is true...I hack at names), but only after speaking to him for a while and he turned to me and said “I haven’t smoked since that day that you prayed for me” – whaaaaat!! Thank you Jesus!!
That guy, that car guard, that homeless guy, that guy always bothering me (you)...my brother!! When you look at homeless and destitute people in our country, cities, and townships, what do you see...people who need money or people who need love...in what ever way God wants you to present and meet a person’s need...always be asking our Father, what it is that He wants to do. Man I’m touched, this is not a story about a guy who used to smoke and now doesn’t – this is someone’s life who I believe has been changed, Jesus touched him and set Him free!! Amen :-) Hallelujah...
What can you do for His Kingdom that is insignificant? If we are moving with the rhythm of Heaven – you gotta know it’s huge, it’s an invitation for God’s Holy Spirit to touch people...to change lives...
I have so many friends whom go about their business – God’s business and it breaks down strongholds...things such as using your musical ability to lead guys to that intimate place with Jesus, using what God has put in you to do talks around the city about sex and relationships, loving people in the township areas and caring for their needs, having faith to see our university become a place of worship and the list goes on...none of this is insignificant if it is God breathed...and guess who gave breath to your life??!!
I wanna honour every Christian out there who wants to be that difference for our King.
[1 Peter 1:8-9] Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
One of the last thoughts and encouragements I wanna share with you. At our pre service prayer meeting this past Sunday, one of our pastors asked us to take hands and we prayed, united as one body. God spoke these words to me, ‘There are no heroes amongst you, Jesus himself is the saviour and the only true hero...
My biggest light bulb...bummer of a moment...in this past while has been me...me leading in my own strength, being that leader...trying to fit a mould which quite frankly Jesus did not purchase for me!!
‘He knows you, the way He met you’...these were the words I heard that gave me that spiritual awakening. Huh? What you mean God? I think a lot of Christians back down because they are too afraid to give what they got...cause the enemy spreads lies such as ‘it’s not good enough...you are not good enough’.
When I was still in darkness, I had no leadership ability – none. In my own strength I can’t even lead a cat astray...ha ha...like a stray cat!! :-) But through His grace, I believe God is changing my heart towards His, to love people the way He loves people, a raw and powerful love that is God himself.
Now I could try and get up in my own strength and administer this amazing love to people, or I could expect God to show up and use little ‘ol me, the way He desires.
That guy who came to the cross out of desperation and - cause quite frankly - I had nothing more to loose & less than nothing to give, I can just lay my life down (Luke 9:23 – still my all time favourite verse) and expect He will do something great with it.
...come to Him, and lay everything down’
I hope you have found life and encouragement in these few words and I ask that Holy Spirit will stir you up. Come as you are, start laying your own agenda down bit by bit and expect Jesus to show up...He’s here right now with us...He loves you.
LOVE REEZY (Ryan)
uhm nope...I’m not being emo...challenges are good :-)
All the amazing Christian authored stuff out there usually starts in prayer...and so I’m keen on that, plus any opportunity to talk to Pappa is good!!
Dear Lord Jesus, Lord help me to write - God that which is on your heart, help me to share my experiences with people so that they might see and hear and feel you in my words and that their eyes might be totally focussed on you and your most amazing love, cover us in your love. Amen.
Yoh, it’s been a rollercoaster ride since my last blog entry. Ups and downs and for some reason more downs in this season. A season I thought I would never see and quite frankly dreaded a little bit, but hey – one thing I know is never look back, unless through the blood of Jesus.
So I wanna declare (prophetically) right now...that I will not start another sentence with ‘It’s been a tough couple of months’...and then proceed with all my junk, I refuse to give the enemy any glory or believe any lie, label or accusation against me as if I were trying to humble myself by dissing myself – that’s why its always a good idea to ask God, “Hey God, what do You say about me” – I usually end up in a joyous laughing fit...wow...how He desires me and each and every single one of us.
Just last week at my small group meeting we played a game of encourage encourage – quite frankly I felt like sitting out, I was feeling so empty...what would God say about me or what would He say through me...what if there is like awkward silence...hectic...ha ha :-) But the words that came, the encouragement, the love, the prophetic words...I was like sjo...JESUS!! How can you see all this!! The truth is, by His Spirit, things were being revealed that were so deeply nestled in my heart, things that I totally take for granted...things I trade off to rather focus on all my junk - that I was convinced God would see my garbage pile and instead give me a word like...do not collect your prize, don’t even start again but go straight to jail...lol, Monopoly!!
Serve (praise) God for who He is...not for who you are!! – SELAH – (that’s Psalm lingo for pause and reflect...)
Quick testimony...the very power of our living God at work...
About a month ago I was wondering the streets and came across Odwa, a car guard dude. He asked me for cash...to buy cigarettes...I said no...(just had to state the obvious), plus I had no cash on me!! I was in a happy place and decided to chat to him, took my scooter helmet off and actually took the time to engage with him. I shared with him a bit of my life...yoh...love talking and especially about what Pappa has done in me. Told him how I smoked for seven years and have been ‘clean’ for almost 2 years – hey...it’s totally 2 years today!! He naturally asked how I stopped and I told him I gave my LIFE to Jesus (heart and all...every body part...ha ha). I encouraged Him with some good Godly council that Jesus could set Him free and well now his money could be used to provide for himself and his family...awe!! He seemed to like this deal and I asked him if I could pray for this...so I just prayed a simple prayer of faith. Tonight...I was rushing out of a pizza place when a car guard approached me, with my helmet already on I felt stirred to take it off and talk to this guy...ha ha...Odwa...I supernaturally remembered his name (this is true...I hack at names), but only after speaking to him for a while and he turned to me and said “I haven’t smoked since that day that you prayed for me” – whaaaaat!! Thank you Jesus!!
That guy, that car guard, that homeless guy, that guy always bothering me (you)...my brother!! When you look at homeless and destitute people in our country, cities, and townships, what do you see...people who need money or people who need love...in what ever way God wants you to present and meet a person’s need...always be asking our Father, what it is that He wants to do. Man I’m touched, this is not a story about a guy who used to smoke and now doesn’t – this is someone’s life who I believe has been changed, Jesus touched him and set Him free!! Amen :-) Hallelujah...
What can you do for His Kingdom that is insignificant? If we are moving with the rhythm of Heaven – you gotta know it’s huge, it’s an invitation for God’s Holy Spirit to touch people...to change lives...
I have so many friends whom go about their business – God’s business and it breaks down strongholds...things such as using your musical ability to lead guys to that intimate place with Jesus, using what God has put in you to do talks around the city about sex and relationships, loving people in the township areas and caring for their needs, having faith to see our university become a place of worship and the list goes on...none of this is insignificant if it is God breathed...and guess who gave breath to your life??!!
I wanna honour every Christian out there who wants to be that difference for our King.
[1 Peter 1:8-9] Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
One of the last thoughts and encouragements I wanna share with you. At our pre service prayer meeting this past Sunday, one of our pastors asked us to take hands and we prayed, united as one body. God spoke these words to me, ‘There are no heroes amongst you, Jesus himself is the saviour and the only true hero...
My biggest light bulb...bummer of a moment...in this past while has been me...me leading in my own strength, being that leader...trying to fit a mould which quite frankly Jesus did not purchase for me!!
‘He knows you, the way He met you’...these were the words I heard that gave me that spiritual awakening. Huh? What you mean God? I think a lot of Christians back down because they are too afraid to give what they got...cause the enemy spreads lies such as ‘it’s not good enough...you are not good enough’.
When I was still in darkness, I had no leadership ability – none. In my own strength I can’t even lead a cat astray...ha ha...like a stray cat!! :-) But through His grace, I believe God is changing my heart towards His, to love people the way He loves people, a raw and powerful love that is God himself.
Now I could try and get up in my own strength and administer this amazing love to people, or I could expect God to show up and use little ‘ol me, the way He desires.
That guy who came to the cross out of desperation and - cause quite frankly - I had nothing more to loose & less than nothing to give, I can just lay my life down (Luke 9:23 – still my all time favourite verse) and expect He will do something great with it.
...come to Him, and lay everything down’
I hope you have found life and encouragement in these few words and I ask that Holy Spirit will stir you up. Come as you are, start laying your own agenda down bit by bit and expect Jesus to show up...He’s here right now with us...He loves you.
LOVE REEZY (Ryan)
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